Shared By Carla
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You will agree, I am sure, that all thinking people have a sincere desire to succeed. You want to win; I want to win.
No one sets out to deliberately destroy themselves – although I must admit, at times it certainly appears as if some people do. If everyone wants to win – why don’t they? There are probably many answers to that question.
After talking with hundreds of people who do not seem to be able to make it happen, I have come to the conclusion that the answer to success is locked up in a seven letter word – “Believe.”
Losers do not believe they can win. Why don’t they believe? I think there is an answer to that question and I’ll get to it in a moment. If you are having difficulty making something big happen in your life, read closely. All the great religious leaders, philosophers and self-help gurus have told us to believe and succeed.
“All things are possible for those who believe.”
“Believe and your belief will create the fact.” William James
I have found that our belief system is based on our evaluation of something. Frequently when we re-evaluate a situation our belief about that situation will change. Half of my life was wasted. I never even tried to accomplish anything of any importance because I did not believe in myself. The truth was I knew very little about me.
Many years ago I was encouraged to begin studying myself, re-evaluate myself. I began to gain an understanding of my marvelous mind. Everyday I learned a little more and I suddenly began to believe in myself.
Re-evaluate yourself. There is a sleeping giant in you. Release it. Believe in yourself.
Shared by Carla
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Every one of us has different challenges, situations that stress us, change us, and put us up against a wall.
I know beyond any doubt that when your body is given all the opportunities to enjoy its natural capacity for movement, the energy reserves you build up help you cope with what life throws your way.
In fact, it helps you do more than cope-it helps you thrive. I call my own personal challenges the three A’s-the three things that shaped my life. The first A is an accident I had at age 19.
I broke and tore apart my right arm, shoulder, and chest while riding a motorcycle. I was temporarily paralyzed and spent six months in rehabilitation. . . .
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On Saturday mornings, my family and I stay in bed just a little bit longer. My two boys crawl into bed with my husband and I and we usually watch music videos all together cuddled up in bed.
A song came on called “If this was your last day” which I found intriguing and thought it posed an interesting question too, so I turned to my husband and asked him what he would do if it was his last day.
He thought for a while and then said that he would probably lie in bed all day just as we were doing right now, surrounded by all his favorite people, just savoring the time together.
I turned to my eight year old and asked him what he would do and he said that he would go to Canada’s Wonderland and go on all the rides.
I then focused my attention on my six year old and posed the same question. He looked at me intently
and asked “Is this my last day to live?”, I said “yup”. He then answered the question quite matter of factly
and said “I would go to the hospital”.
Of course my husband and I thought his answer was genuinely funny, smart and pure (we are biased of course). However, I have been thinking about it for a few days now and I realize that my six year old has it
all figured out.
He naturally thinks outside of the box, he does not accept a situation and assume a scenario just because it is posed to him. In his mind, there was no reason why it should be his last day and he was going to find a way to ensure that it was not. In a flash of a second, he realized that he has the capacity to ensure that it wouldn’t be his last day and not only that, but he was going to take the requisite responsibility and the necessary action to ensure that it wasn’t.
My son taught me that if you want to live then find a way to do it, don’t give up, don’t settle and don’t just accept things for what they seem to be. Don’t assume and accept a situation just because it is presented to you as such. Rather make that situation your own, take responsibility for it and then decide to change it, my six year old did.
Now I know that I am his mother, but is this not the smartest six year old kid in the entire world?
Nicolle Kopping-Pavars
Nicolle Kopping-Pavars is a collaborative lawyer dedicated to using inspiration and motivation while guiding families through difficult transitions. You can view her website at: www.nkplaw.ca or email her your comments to: nicolle@nkplaw.ca
Does the idea of standing in front of a mirror and appreciating your positive qualities feel uncomfortable and stupid? It did to me-which was a sign that I really needed to try it.
I first learned this mirror exercise in 1990, when I took a week-long course from my mentor, Jack Canfield,
on self-esteem. Jack assigned the exercise as homework every night, saying, “Make sure you do this behind a closed door so nobody walks by and thinks you’re crazy.”
Each night my roommate and I took turns going into the bathroom, shutting the door, and whispering sweet
nothings to our reflections: “You’re kind.” “You’re loyal.” “You have a loving heart.”
The first night, I felt like a California New Age woo-woo nutcase, but soon I experienced a rush of sadness; I was such an expert at judging myself-why was it so hard to say nice things?
With practice, it gradually became easier to list reasons to love myself: “You’re smart.” “You go out of your way to help others.” And so on. But the realpower of this exercise came when I learned to express appreciation for myself for no reason-to look myself in the eye and simply love who I was, unconditionally.
If you’re like most people, consciously recognizing the positive about yourself may feel conceited. After all, we’re raised not to “toot our own horns.” So we end up not giving ourselves credit or acknowledgment or even worse, beating ourselves up, which shuts down our hearts, contracts our energy, and decreases our happiness levels.
Doing the research for my book Happy for No Reason, I interviewed scores of scientists along with one hundred unconditionally happy people (I call them the Happy 100). One of the things I discovered is that truly happy people have a compassionate, encouraging, and validating attitude toward themselves.
This isn’t arrogance or self-centeredness; it’s an appreciation and acceptance of who they are.
Learning to see the positive about yourself starts by changing your brain’s habit of focusing on your negative experiences and instead inclining your mind toward joy. So today, begin registering your happy experiences
more deeply– consciously look for them. You can make it a game you play with yourself.
Have the intention to notice everything good that happens to you: anything you see, feel, taste, hear or smell that brings you joy, a “win” you experience, a breakthrough, an a-ha, or an expression of your creativity the list goes on and on. This intention triggers the reticular activating system (RAS), a group of cells at the base of your brain stem responsible for sorting through the massive amounts of incoming information and bringing anything important to your attention. Have you ever bought a car and then suddenly starting noticing the same make of car everywhere?
It’s the RAS at work.
Now you can use it to be happier. When you decide to look for the positive, your RAS makes sure that’s what you see. Adelle, one of the Happy 100, told me about a unique method she has for registering the positive.
As she goes about her day, she gives away awards in her mind: the best-behaved dog award, the most colorful landscape design at a fast food drive-through award, the most courteous driver award. This keeps her alert to the beauty and positivity that is all around her.
Charmed by this idea, I tried it myself. I liked it so much, I’ve been giving out these “Happiness Oscars,” as I call them, ever since. Once you notice something positive, take a moment to savor it consciously. Take the good experience in deeply and feel it; make it more than just a mental observation. If possible, spend around 30 seconds, soaking up the happiness you feel.
If you want to accelerate your progress, take time every day to write down a few of your wins, breakthroughs, and things you appreciate about others-and about yourself.
You’ll know you’ve really mastered this when you can give yourself an Academy Award-for outstanding achievement in true happiness!
Marci Shimoff
Based on the New York Times bestseller Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out,
which offers a revolutionary approach to experiencing deep and lasting happiness.
We still give lip-service to sportsmanship, but it is hard to believe we are very serious about it.
Obscene salaries to professionals, grades without attending classes to collegians, drug parties by Olympians, late “confessions” by athletes caught using banned substances – all these combine to mock the idea that we really value teamwork, sacrifice, fair play, and honest competition.
Then you hear about a high school basketball game and think that maybe, just maybe, you are getting too cynical. Sportsmanship may not be dead yet. As told by Tim Dahlberg, national sports columnist for AP, here is what happened.
On a Saturday earlier this month when DeKalb (Ill.) High School was to play Milwaukee (Wisc.) Madison,
tragedy struck the family of one of the players. The mother of Milwaukee Madison’s senior captain died at a local hospital. While Johntell Franklin was taking his college ACT exam, his mother took a dramatic turn for the worse after five years of battling cancer. With her son at the hospital late that afternoon, the 39-year-old mother was removed from life support.
Thought was given to canceling the game, but Franklin urged the coach and his teammates to play. The game started late, and Milwaukee Madison dressed out only eight players. There may not have been a lot
of heart or focus for them.
Early in the second quarter, Coach Womack saw his captain come into the gym to cheer on his teammates.
He called a timeout, went over to give his grieving player a hug. So did his teammates and scores of their fans. “We got back to playing the game, and I asked if he wanted to come and sit on the bench,” Coach Womack said later. Came the reply: “No. I want to play!” Although it would mean a technical foul against his team in what was then a close game, Womack thought it was a price worth paying.
So he had the young man suit up and prepare to play.
Since Johntell Franklin had not been on the pre-game roster, putting him in meant two free throws for DeKalb. When that was explained to DeKalb’s Coach Dave Rohlman, he offered to forego the free throws and let Franklinplay. But five minutes or so of argument got nowhere with the refs.
Coach Rohlman huddled his team and explained what was going on. Then he asked for a volunteer to shoot the free throws. His team’s captain, Darius McNeal, raised his hand. He went to the line. The first shot went about two feet and landed with a thud. The second just rolled out of his hand.
The Milwaukee Madison players faced their opponent’s bench and began applauding. It was only seconds before everyone else in the stands joined the cheering. “I did it for the guy who lost his mom,” McNeal told
a reporter later. “It was the right thing to do.”
DeKalb eventually lost the game. Who cares? What those boys will recall for the rest of their lives is an act of sportsmanship they shared on that special night.
Rubel Shelly
Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan.
In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects
as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: www.RubelShelly.com