From Slave Camp To Freedom - Page 19 of 36 - Carla's journey and what it took to make it happen

The Woodsman and the Leprechaun

Long ago, a woodsman saved the life of a leprechaun and was given one wish. The woodsman thought for a long time and finally wished that each of his three daughters find a good husband.

But the leprechaun was full of games. “How am I to know what’s good in your mind? I’ll give them husbands, but you can name only one quality and it’s got to be the same for all. What’ll you have? I can make them clever, strong, beautiful, rich – you name it.”

The woodsman said, “Then give me men of good character.”

The leprechaun wasn’t done playing. “And how am I to know what good character is?”

“Do you have children?” asked the woodsman.

“I do,” said the leprechaun.

“And do you love them?”

“More than life itself.”

“Then give my girls the kind of men you want for your children.”

“Ah,” the leprechaun said, “then you shall have honorable men with kind and loving hearts. And I’ll throw in a strong conscience too.”

The woodsman was a shrewd man and a good father. He knew the well-being and happiness of his children depends on the quality of their relationships. The quality of their relationships depends on the quality of the people they are with.

But what if the woodsman was asked what one quality he wants in his own daughters? As a wise father he would again ask for good character. Whether it’s in one’s spouse or oneself, cleverness, good looks, and money are nice, but in the end the most essential quality of a good life is good character.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

Is Happiness Around The Corner?

Shared By Carla
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For lots of people, happiness is just around the corner. They just need to get their degree, a particular job, a promotion, or a raise. Maybe they’re waiting to get married or have a child. Perhaps they will be happy when they retire.

Alfred D’ Souza said, “For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” John Lennon put it another way, “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.”

The point is our lives are happening now. If we are to get the satisfaction and fulfillment we want, we have to learn to draw pleasure and joy from everything that happens to us and around us because these experiences are the very essence of our life. The more conscious we are that life consists of the journey, not the destination, the more likely we are to get the most out of it.

So, if there are things you want to do, begin to fit them in now or accept the fact that you can be happy whether or not you do them.

Happiness isn’t just around the corner. It’s now or it’s never.  The good news is you have everything you need to be happy. Philosophers, poets, and scientists all agree it can’t be attained through money, prestige, or power. Happiness is not a fact, it’s a mindset. All you need is optimism and gratitude.

Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

Don’t Let Life Get In The Way Of Your Life

Shared By Carla
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The memories are so very clear. We had just put the final touches; the last giant cubes of marble and concrete were setting in. It didn’t matter that they were really big rocks and chunks of dirt and mud on the walls. What a magnificent structure! No Indians, no Cavalry, no Kings Men and no Attila the Hun could storm these walls. My friends and I had built this magnificent fort to withstand any assault from our imaginary enemies. It never occurred to us that this fortress, this pillar of strength could crumble at any moment. It had taken us days to build but they were wonderful days. The sun was blistering hot. July days in southern Ohio would get that way.

The Great Miami River sparkled in the distance as we slaved and struggled to build this edifice to engineering. Of course we didn’t know that’s what we were building but that’s what my memory of those days has etched in my dreams. We had built something that nobody else had ever built and we’d defend it to the last man; or 8 year old boy. Life was so exciting back then and this fort represented all that was good. And then the rains came. Two days of torrential rain and the river kept rising and the insurmountable, the un-breachable fort was gone, carried away in the deluge. Dreams were destroyed that week in 1953 but they would appear again. We just didn’t realize it at the time. It didn’t cross our minds that we were actually learning one of the basics of an adventuresome life. Nothing lasts forever

It’s interesting how memories and dreams sustain us as we grow older. Life often becomes what we want it to be based on those dreams of long ago. Sadly, we too often forget to live those dreams and we forget that anything is possible in a dream.

I’ve always been a bit of a dreamer so those memories of long ago have stayed with me as if they happened yesterday. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t rained on my forts just a few times. Those memories have helped me rebuild many forts and continue to do so today. Forts though get bigger, stronger and harder to rebuild as we get older but they don’t disappear. They just take more work. I’ve learned over these many years that those rebuilt forts have led to the greatest lessons I’ve ever experienced. These are the lessons that make life worthwhile, more challenging and satisfying than almost all of the other lessons combined. I like to describe them as just one of many rebirths.

My youngest daughter had just gotten married a few weeks prior to me visiting the Dr. in May of 1998. This wasn’t a comfortable visit but it was one where I pretty much knew what the outcome would be. As a runner and avid weight lifter I knew right away the signs of a hernia and thus my visit to the Dr. Little did I know that this visit would change my life and it would never be the same.

Over the next couple of weeks I was told that my kidneys were down to about 25% functioning and I soon required emergency surgery on my hernia. I was forced to delay the original hernia surgery due to the kidney issue. The prognosis I was given set the stage for life altering events that would take me in a direction I had never dreamed. The lessons I would learn would change me in ways that were unimaginable before that day. I would never be the same. My fort was being destroyed by torrents of bad news. My internal fortress was washed away, seemingly to never be found again.

Thus was my introduction to one of the most life altering moments in my fifty plus years and the beginning of a journey that continues even today. It’s strange how these forts we build in our lives can crumble overnight. We think we can withstand anything and then the unexpected storm happens and the walls come tumbling down. What we do at that point creates the defining moments in our lives. Who we are and what we are made of screams out at us to make a statement and be heard. Whether we do or not attests to our makeup and sets the stage for making those dreams come true or letting them wash away with the turmoil.

For me it wasn’t traumatic or even frightening. It was more like a slap across the face when I wasn’t quite ready. Have you ever had a slap like that? A slap that hits you square in the face when you least expect it. It usually happens when we aren’t looking with the painfully delivered message that life was changing forever. I had kidney disease and I actually lost my breath. My fort had failed to keep out the enemy. My walls crumbled and the invaders were close at hand. I was facing hand to hand combat and I didn’t even have a weapon; or did I?

That was June of 1998 and I had just come through a pretty stressful few months. I lost my mother, mother-in-law and brother-in-law all between the first week in October, 1997 and Christmas. My youngest daughter had just gotten married in May, 1998 and I had just completed one of the most lucrative consulting assignments I’d had since starting my business in 1992. To say my life was turned upside down was an understatement. I almost didn’t know what to deal with first, my grief over losing my loved ones, my joy over my daughter’s marriage, my elation that my business had finally taken off or the crash of a life altering illness. It was a lot to deal with but as I look back, I realize that this 8 month period of time would define my life from that point forward. I now know why we say, everything happens for a reason. I now truly understand my purpose in life. Kidney disease pushed me over the hump and forced me to see more clearly what I needed to do and that i t was not as difficult or confusing as I had always made it. What I finally found was the direction I’d searched for most of my life and that direction was forward. All the trials and tribulations, all the struggles and setbacks, all the losses and seeming failures in life as well as the victories and happy times were simply a part of life. My fort could be rebuilt just like that one many years earlier. Why hadn’t I seen it before?

We all have our forts destroyed at some time in our lives. Many of those forts aren’t all that big or strong and some, like mine don’t fall so easily but when they do, we need a plan to rebuild. We need to think clearly and rationally and believe in our hearts that it was just a structure. It had a foundation and walls and rooms that were pieces of a life well lived but it didn’t have to have a roof. It didn’t have to have a ceiling that stopped us. When we realize this, we’re on our way to success. So how do we rebuild those forts? We keep our wits and think things through.

We slow down and analyze the problem. Overreaction can be the death of any good plan.

We act. We do something. Procrastination never accomplishes anything.

We logically move forward, one step at a time.

We believe that this is the beginning of a new chapter in life and it may very well be the best one.

I read one time where it’s never too late to become what we might have been. Don’t let your life get in the way of your life. It’s just not all that complicated.

Jim Dineen

Jim Dineen is an author, speaker and writer who has experienced dialysis and transplant and all of its ensuing complications in a not so complicated way. His first book, “Life’s Just Not That Complicated” very concisely looks at life’s challenges and asks, if it’s really as difficult as we make it. He can be contacted through his web site at www.eagledreamer.com or jim@eagledreamer.com.

Monday Pick Me Up ~ What Do You fear?

I watched a child in the mall yesterday as she was kicking and screaming. Her parents were trying their best to calm her down.

I also watched the people passing by them. Some shook their heads and saw the child as a spoiled, “give me what I want now,” child. Others paused and offered a few kind words to both the child and parents.

“You’re such a beautiful little girl. Such a beautiful girl shouldn’t cry,” one lady said.

“Don’t be so sad. We all have bad days,” added another.

“I think she’s a spoiled brat,” I heard one whisper to a friend.

None of themwere right. The child was neither spoiled nor having a bad day.

She was afraid.

The parents told me afterwards that someone carrying a coat scared her. She’s afraid of dogs. The coat looked like a big dog.

They went on to explain that it is a challenge for them to go places. Friends have dogs, neighbors nearby walk their dogs down the street.

So, you can imagine what it’s like to try to get through a day without sending your child into a panic.

I can remember, as a child walking up the steps at night I would get the feeling that someone or some thing was going to grab my feet. So, I ran most of the time.

I’ll admit that occasionally as an adult I do the same thing.

Fear – what you fear the most in life, owns you, controls you, limits you.

I struggle with the fear of heights, but I fight it. My wife sent me off in a glider on my 60th birthday. I was fine. I was better than fine, I was great!

If I could have one foolish child-like wish come true it would be to have the ability to fly like a bird.

The truth is fear can be debilitating. Fear cripples many, limits abilities to enjoy even the simplest things in life and in some cases stops people from having medical procedures that could prevent major health issues.

Fear also crushes dreams.

Sometimes our own fears are imposed on others around us affecting their views and impacting their ability to live life fully…all in the name of love, concern and good parenting.

Someone once used the acronym F.E.A.R as False Evidence Appearing Real.

I’m not sure that applies to all fear. One might have had a bad experience with a dog and now that fear is real, relevant in their lives.

But, I think the kind of fear I believe we can deal with is the fear that reinforces doubt.

In particular poor self image issues either self imposed or wrongfully fed to you by others in your life or the world in general.

Fear and doubt are enemies of faith. They are the enemy thatyou permit to control your decisions, even when you declare your faith in God.

You give them power over you. The enemy doesn’t want you to be happy, successful, or faithful. The enemy wantsyou to fail and stay there. Why?

Because successful, happy, healthy people give credit for their happiness to God even when they face their fears they declare their belief in the God who fears nothing.

“Fear prevents, faith prevails!”

Bob Perks

Bob Perks is an inspirational author and speaker. Bob’s new book I Wish You Enough has been published by Thomas Nelson Publishers. A collection of stories based on his Eight Wishes expressed below. Available through your favorite bookstore or online. Visit www.BobPerks.com

Monday Pick Me Up ~ She Never Left My Side

“PUUUSH…PUUUSH,” I called out to my friend, but it appeared that there was no use in trying anymore. My car was stuck in the mud and I was on a double date. Being a 16 year old boy, I wanted to make a good impression on my pretty and intelligent date. However, hearing the motor rev with the car still stuck in the mud did not earn “brownie points” for my friend or me in the eyes of our dates.

We continued to push and push, but there was no getting my car “unstuck” from the mud. Sharon, my date, was revving the car’s engine while Jeff and I were pushing and pushing. Finally, I said, “Enough!” Embarrassed, I approached Sharon as she sat behind the wheel of my mother’s red station wagon. Before I could speak I noticed the gear on the car: IT WAS SET ON “NEUTRAL!”

I set the gear to “drive,” instructed Sharon to wait until I gave her the signal to press down on the accelerator, and then went back to help Jeff push the car out of the mud.

That was our first date. Even though it resulted in my getting mud on my slacks, Sharon caused me to have love in my heart. I was “stung” by the Love Bug.

Sharon and I dated seriously throughout high school. I went away to college as Sharon was finishing her senior year in high school. Our love, which was blooming, was only matched in size by our long-distance telephone bills.

The next year, Sharon joined me at the University of Texas. We were so happy. We thought we were at the top of the world. We thought our lives were set. That was true until that eventful evening when in a split second our lives changed forever.

On February 18, 1981, we were studying at the library of the University. It was late and Sharon told me that she had to return to her dormitory to go to sleep. We slid into my car and headed toward her dorm, but, unfortunately, my gas gauge was registering “empty.” I pulled into a nearby convenience store, borrowed $2 from Sharon, and walked into the store to pay for the gas.

Things do not always work out as one plans them. Unfortunately, the store was in the midst of a robbery, and one of the thieves forced me into the cooler. He followed me, pushed me to the floor, and calmly shot me in the back of the head — execution style!

The story does not end there. Yes, the criminal thought I was dead; thus eliminating any witness to the crime. However, when the thieves left the store, I still had a faint pulse.

Very few people believed I would remain alive much longer. That is why the police transferred my case to the Homicide division. That is also why the neurosurgeon when he was awakened at his home to see me at the hospital came quickly but returned home as he believed an operation would be futile.

However, when the doctor returned to the hospital in the morning, he was shocked to see that I was still alive. He told my parents that an operation was necessary, but he added that he would be surprised if I survived the surgery.

I fooled all of the medical experts and survived the surgery. However, the surgeon warned my parents that even though I was still breathing I would probably never be able to communicate with anyone or understand anyone who was attempting to communicate with me. Basically, the surgeon stated, I would be “a vegetable.”

Hearing those words, my father told Sharon, “Get on with your life.”

Sharon quickly replied, “Mike is my life.”

Even though we were not yet married, Sharon believed in the vows, “in sickness and in health.” She dropped out of college for one semester to be with me at the Rehabilitation Hospital in Houston where I was eventually transferred. Sharon was spending her time with her “drooling boyfriend in the hospital” while other college freshmen were spending their time at parties.

Eventually, Sharon returned to Austin to continue her college education. Once again we had enormous phone bills.

My goal was to also return to Austin, to the University of Texas, to be with Sharon. Eighteen months after no one thought I would survive, I accomplished that goal. One of the primary reasons was … Sharon; my love, who refused to give up or give in.

Four years after returning to college I graduated. For me, that meant I could finally propose to Sharon, my light at the end of the dark tunnel. She was the one who would always encourage me to look forward and not to focus on the past.

On a beautiful day in May, Sharon and I exchanged vows and were married. We were meant to be together. We had dated for nine long and eventful years, but I realized at the wedding that it was worth everything. Sharon was truly my soulmate.

We have been married for many years and we have a beautiful daughter, Shawn. We have experienced so much — some bad, but more, much more, good.

This is not merely a “love letter” to my wife. Rather, it is the story of a girl’s overcoming everyone’s “rational” thoughts to stay behind with her critically injured boyfriend. To me that shows what kind of woman Sharon is–a beauty both inside and out. Further, it shows the lesson of never giving up on one’s dreams. I give Sharon all the credit for my recovery–not me. I don’t know where I would be without her–definitely not where I am today.

Sharon, I love you so very much.

Michael Jordan Segal, who defied all odds after being shot in the head, is a husband, father, social worker, freelance author (including a CD/Download of 12 stories, read with light backgroud music, entitled POSSIBLE), and inspirational speaker, sharing his recipe for happiness, recovery and success before conferences and businesses. To contact Mike or to order his CD, please visit www.InspirationByMike.com and please take a moment to check out his youtube video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNeRqpaoNpQ you will be glad you did.